🦄 Laura Mølgaard Tams is a user on dotopia.dk. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.
🦄 Laura Mølgaard Tams @laura

Eyo, Mastodon ~ Any on the line? I'm feeling alienated everywhere I go. Trans community around here is all transmasc ppl mostly, queer community is all afab (and oblivious to transmisogyny) and feminist community still treats me like a second degree citizen.

How do you deal with that? I mean. I'm feeling down tonight and need a pat on the back, but also, I'm serious about taking life advice if anyone out there has tips.

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@laura ahoy, plenty of #girlslikeus around. Good to see you, is it okay if I boost this for more of my folks to say hi?

@memnus Thanks. I think at this point it's already been bosted halfway across the fediverse, but thanks for asking! Feel free to boost.

@laura as for dealing with misogynist transmasc folks... I'm so sorry. They should really know better. I don't have any concrete advice other than solidarity, I'm afraid. 😐

@memnus Yeah. Misogynist transmasc folks are shit and should know better. There's a few of them around these parts, but they rarely end up in my part of town. It's more the transmasc folks who are cool with benefiting from transmisogyny or those who are just flat out oblivious to other struggles than their own who cause me trouble.

Thing is, though. I removed myself from that part of the community a while ago. Cissexist white feminists are my real heartache tonight. Genitalia-talk iykwim

@laura ugggggggh I know exactly what you mean. I'm so, so sorry.

@laura @memnus We're definitely out here. Most of the people I know are trans and AMAB, though I'd hesitate to offer up a convenient label that covers us all. The gender sublimation fumes get kinda thick around these parts st times and people start seeing things in the foglets.

@laura Hi - I'm a trans guy, and I'd like to apologise for anything stupid the trans masculine community does. I'm really new here, and I haven't discovered them yet on here, and after what you said, I kind of don't want to.

If you see a transmasculine person behaving stupidly, feel free to ping me in private and I'll gladly try to sort them out. They should know better.

@transscribe Oh. Transmasc people being sexist isn't my main concern. Thanks for your offer though. It would be relevant if you spoke danish and were a member of some of the local facebook groups where they take up all the space. But eh. Trans guys around here aren't that different from cis guys. Some are sexist, some are not. Some are cool with benefiting from transmisogyny, some are not. Main problem is there are no transfemmes in most local irl trans spaces, and community leaders are clueless

@transscribe Not trying to imply trans masc folks have cis privilege here, of course. There's a world of difference in many other ways. Hopefully you understand. Guess what I really wanted to say is, thanks for the offer, but I don't think it's your fault really. Just be nice to trans femmes in your area and I'll be happy for all of you 😉

@laura Interesting how different our experiences are! I'm from Germany, and I know about two other trans guys irl, but at least eight trans women (off the top of my head, probably more).
I definitely know what you mean by male privilege. The two German trans guy groups I'm in on Facebook are unpleasant places with lots of unreflected internalised stereotypes. Otoh, most Facebook groups I'm in are either bad or dead.

@transscribe Yeah, I don't know what the deal is with Copenhagen. Either there's a secret trans girl club somewhere that nobody ever bothered to tell me about or this city is just weird. I keep hearing this from other places. Trans femmes being more visible and more networked.

@laura I had similar struggles when trying to find a trans community where I lived. Lots of bad experiences put me off and I gave up until I started connecting in person with some of the awesome peeps on masto, it's been a life saver tbh

@Raelynn Thanks. I'll definitely keep that in mind. Seems like I might already running the biggest masto instance based in my country (Denmark). I could be wrong and have missed one, of course. So would be really nice if those trans femmes who have been invisible to me thus far would start bumping into me ~

@laura yeah! You'd be surprised sometimes whose actually close by and such, never hurts to try, I know I'm glad I took the chance. Good luck in your search, a community like that is really really helpful :D

@Raelynn I believe you! I really do get surprised every once in a while. It just happens so rarely.

@laura yeah, I've met one cool group of friends through it and also my current girlfriend whose been amazing. Honestly it's been the main way met people lately lol

@Raelynn unfortunately it doesn't seem like a lot of trans folks residing in Denmark use mastodon yet. If you find any, feel free to send them my way! Been meeting trans femmes through Tumblr and OkCupid, lol. And not as many as I would've liked to.

@laura I've heard of some success with dating sites to meet people too. Whatever works for you ya know :D
Hopefully more join soon, it really helps to have a community of people or at least a group that's there for support when you need it